The clock turns back in California

I'm not proud to say that I'm often a pessimist and a cynic, but I think I use those traits to shield myself from disappointment, especially when my civil rights are at stake in an election where people I don't know and who don't know me, will have a say in what I can or cannot do.

For this reason, the 2008 election draws to a close with a few disappointing results in anti-gay ballot initiatives around the country. We lost in Arizona, where I had little hope, and in Florida, where all the polls were saying passage of the gay-marriage ban was all but guaranteed to fail.

But above all, we lost in California, where, for the first time, voters decided to take away gay-marriage after it had already been granted to same-sex couples. Apparently, over 18,000 couples' marriages are now in limbo.

We did gain some ground in California, though, since a similar ballot initiative was supported, a few years back, by 61% of the population, while now only 52% decided to punish us. The problem is that, the last time is was just a law. This time, it's going to end up in the state Constitution, which makes it all but irremovable.

I guess hate won again last night.

But in the darkest of darkness, a glimmer of hope comes from our home state of Connecticut, where the ballot initiative to have a Constitutional Convention to revise the state Constitution (to ban the recently legalized gay-marriage) was widely rejected by a 60-40 margin.

That question can only be posed once every 20 years, which means that the haters can pretty much forget about banning gay-marriage via a Constitutional amendment by following that path. And given that the Congress is solidly Democratic now, any other path looks dire at best.

This leaves us with Massachusetts and Connecticut as the only 2 states with full marriage equality.

But more hope lies ahead, given that the Democrats were able to wrestle control from the Republicans of the New York Senate, which was the only block on the way to gay-marriage there, since the state House already passed it and the governor already stated he wants it.

And New Jersey will likely follow suit, since they realized that civil unions aren't equal to marriage and the population is in favor of full equality. Here, too, the legislature and governor are on our side, so it's the closest thing to a sure bet.

Again, a bittersweet night, particularly for the loss in California, but also a night when we won the biggest prize, the White House.

Obama is, by far, the most pro-gay President we could hope for. He stated over and over that he is for full equality for everyone under the law, and for the repeal of the draconian Defense of Marriage Act (and Don't Ask Don't Tell).

He also supports the United American Families Act, which would allow Ray to sponsor me for a green card.

So, in conclusion, let's try to look at the glass as half full, because it sure looks that way from afar.