Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat

Deep personal shame compels me to premise this review by saying 2 things: one, I cannot stand Mike Myers; two, we watched this on Family Night after Danny picked it, so I’m not to blame for such a poor choice.  That being said, Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat is much worse than one might imagine.

Synopsis: a single mother has to get her house ready for a party for her boss and coworkers and asks her two kids not to mess anything up or she might lose her job.  Unfortunately for everyone, a very mischievous Cat with a Hat shows up to wreak havoc on their fairly good intensions.  Will the Cat cost their mom her job?

Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat is, in no uncertain terms, one of the worst “movies” I’ve ever seen.  And I do feel the need to enclose the term in quotes because it is an insult to include this smelly turd in the same company of 99% of the movies out there.

I’ve read the Dr. Seuss story to my kids many times and, as any other parent who has done the same knows, it is a funny, innocent story of mischief with a nice final resolution and a good overall message for children.  All that is nowhere to be found in this production whose only goal was to cash in on the millions previously made by that other (lame) big budget Dr. Seuss adaptation, Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

This “movie” is lame, ridiculous, annoying, uninspiring, slightly dirty, insulting, and vulgar.

Myers plays his usual forced, unfunny self, just with lots of makeup.  The kids (Dakota Fanning in one of her first roles and Spencer Breslin) are decent enough and the adults (Kelly Preston, Alec Baldwin and Sean Hayes) do as good a job as they can with the material at hand.

The problem is that the material at hand, specifically the screenplay, is so poor and lacking, it’s unsalvageable.  Not even the greatest thespian could be expected to improve this colorful mess.

The Bottom Line: unless you’re a HUGE fan of Myers, do yourself and your kids a favor and skip this monstrosity.  You could opt to read the children the original story instead or, if they really want to see a movie, steer them towards the lovely Horton Hears a Who, which is so sweet and well made, it deserves an Oscar next to this abomination.

Grade: 1