Eragon

Well, what can be said about this movie? That it’s mediocre at best? That its runtime (about 104 minutes) is way too short to do the story justice? That whoever made the decision to keep the movie’s runtime short didn’t also decide to leave out more material, forcing so much to be told in so little time, I felt like a goose being force fed in order to make foie gras.

Or that it is a clear rip off of the Lord of the Rings? This last point I put separate for two reasons. First, I haven’t read the book, so I really cannot tell how much this story really differs from Tolkien’s opus (or if it does at all). Second, because if it does differ from it substantially or if the book’s author was only tangentially inspired by it and used it as a spring board, the movie still stinks of being rushed into production and into theaters to take advantage of the audience’s thirst for fantasy movies in the mold of the Lord of the Rings. In short, it feels like a copycat job.

[SPOILER PARAGRAPH] The movie tells the story of Eragon (and don’t even try to convince me that this name does not sound vaguely like the name Aragorn), a teenage kid who finds a dragon’s egg that will only hatch when it finds its rider, and promptly does so when Eragon finds it. Our hero is then quickly schooled in the ways of the dragon riders by Brom, a former dragon rider himself now in hiding (who just so happens to live in Eragon’s same village). Eragon has to learn quickly because the anti-hero, Galbatorix (a poorly cast and barely used John Malkovich), a dragon rider who turned bad and killed (almost) all of his kin in order to take power into his own hands, is now targeting Eragon to solidify his control over the land once and for all. Surprisingly (not really), Eragon is a quick learner and masterfully defies all of Galbatorix’s armies.

The direction is not so terrible as much as rushed, but the screenplay is not only stuffed like a turkey with material, it’s also grossly underdeveloped. The actors, especially renown good ones like Jeremy Irons and John Malkovich, do what they can, failing miserably, but at least look like they had more fun making the movie then we have watching them in it. The only consolation might just be that the actor playing Eragon, Ed Speleers, is incredibly good looking, but that’s not enough to save this stinker from getting a bad score.

Grade: 3.5