Clash of the Titans

This remake of the 1981 original is the textbook example for why you shouldn’t temper with the classics.  Sure, visual effects have progressed so much that pretty much every movie would benefit from a remake, but the question is should they be remade just to make them look better?

The answer is no.  First of all, visual effects aren’t all that matter in a movie.  If they were, eighty percent of the movies out there would have no reason to exist, and that would be tragic.  Second, movies are very much products of their time, meaning that they reflect the aesthetics of when they are released.  The cheesiness and campiness of the original feel right at home in the early ‘80s, turning it into a classic of sorts.  Today’s version feels anachronistic and superfluous, and underlines the widespread lack of originality in Hollywood that’s reflected in all the remakes it regularly churns out.  This also says a lot about the times we live in, when remaking favorites of old often trumps creating original content.

Clash of the Titans tells the story of Perseus, demigod son of Zeus, who decides to stand up to the Gods because he cannot let them treat the humans as toys any longer.  The Gods have their own internal strife as well, with Zeus’ brother Hades, God of the Underworld, positioning to take over as supreme ruler over Olympus and the Earth.  Fiery battles ensue.

The rugged Sam Worthington, hot off the money-making machine that was Avatar, stars as Perseus and does a respectable job with an over-the-top part that requires a lot of swagger.  That’s not the case for Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes, two very good actors (great is a better descriptor for Fiennes) who are given such risible material to work with, they sputter their lines without much conviction.  Neeson’s part especially is unintentionally (one would hope) ridiculous, with a pathetically silly costume that makes it impossible to take him seriously (and he’s supposed to be the supreme God!!).

The only character I really liked was actually Gemma Arterton’s Io, who is so ethereal, mysterious, and charming, I felt like the movie was over once she met her demise.

On a technical level, the visual effects are all quite good, as one would expect, especially Hades’ transformation into flying demons and the Kraken, while I was unimpressed by Medusa.  The makeup is remarkable, especially that of the three witches, and the costumes quite good (except Zeus’, who wears something you’d only see Cher wear on stage).

Overall, I’d say watch the original and skip this one, and I feel bad for the poor schmucks who forked over extra cash to see this lame turd in 3D.

Grade: 4